So a week or two ago, news broke that another celebrity sex tape was leaked. This time it was Kendra Wilkinson from Playboy. Was I shocked? Not in the least.

People really need to stop making sex tapes. I don’t care how hot you think you are, or how much you want to see yourself do it. Don’t do it. It will always get leaked. It may take years, it may take decades, but people you don’t want seeing it, will somehow come across it.

Maybe you got it mixed up with another video, put it in the wrong cover, or it fell underneath something. It’s even more important that in this digital age that you don’t make a sex tape. In the olden days, you could only make a sex tape with a trusty VHS. Those VHS tapes weren’t the toughest things. I know I broke a VHS tape or two by simply dropping it. You could always just pull out the tape or break open that part that bent went you pushed it into the VHS player.

But today? Now you can record video on your phone, digital camera, web cams, etc. It’s so easy to post links on twitter, facebook, etc. One click of a button and bam! Let’s say you saved it as a file on your computer (but for god sakes why??? You really are asking for trouble) and you made sure to name it something vague like “boating trip” or “whoopie cushion.” Then one day you decide to send your mom some video of something cute and innocent. But you accidentally send her THAT file. However you didn’t realize it until after you sent it. Poor mom is going to open it up and watch you playing slap and tickle.

Remember, people are vain creatures. They will keep these tapes forever. Sex tapes are like roaches and Keith Richards, they never die. When the world ends, it will rain sex tapes. Remember, the majority of people who make sex tapes, don’t look like celebrities. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to watch the average Joe Blow (ok so maybe sorta pun intended) engage in a round of how’s your father.

So think about the next time you’re feeling adventurous, don’t think about pressing record on your phone, digital camera, digital recorder or web cam. Yes a relative may at some point accidentally stumble upon it. Your relationship may not last forever, even if you’re married. What if it’s a bad breakup, sometimes people turn into assholes after a breakup. He/she might have the balls to upload it somewhere or forward it to their friends. What may be a cute mole then, can be a point a laughter later with their friends and /or for all the internet to see. Do you really want your private bits to go viral, especially if you have a habit or making strange sounds during sex?

Yes you can delete it but there are ways to retrieve things. It’s very hard to truly delete things in this modern world.

Never, ever make a sex tape. Remember, the camera always add ten pounds.

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I read online that Mo’nique has an open marriage with her husband. I was actually taken by surprise. I’ve heard about Will Smith and Jada and rumblings about other famous couples that didn’t surprise me. It made me wonder about the benefits and drawbacks of an open marriage.

I myself have been married for 2 years. I married my college sweetheart. Me and my husband have been together for a total of 7 years. On an intellectual level, I can understand the need for an open marriage. When you are married, and or simply shack up, you’re with the same person day in and day out. Romance can take a back seat to talks of bills, dividing up chores, arguing over what to watch on TV, and the daily grind of full time jobs. Not to mention that you are having sex with the same person over and over and over again. No matter how much you change up the sex, the way your partner kisses really doesn’t change over time and people generally always fall back on their basic techniques. An open marriage allows the spouses the freedom to enjoy new partners without the baggage of old grudges, the ability to lather up in escapism from their regular lives, and to feed off new sexual experiences. All this while still having the stability of a long term relationship. All this sounds great on paper. Some people can successfully pull this off if and only if, both spouses truly understand and accept the terms of the open marriage.

However..

Why even get married if you feel the need to explore other avenues? Marriage is hard but the payoff is worth it. When you marry someone, you should be able to bond with someone in a unique way. You decide to be come legally binded to someone. It’s wonderful and life enriching experience. You look into your spouses eyes and you can see your future and your unborn children. Why do you think that the lesbian and gay community fight so hard to have the right to marry? Because, they like most of us, want to have the right to stand before family and friends and commit yourself to one person for life.

Yes, romance can fizzle and sex can become stale. This can happen even in unmarried couples. However, every relationship has it’s ups and downs. The sex will rise again! It’s like a kracken. Sure, it can lay dormant, but when it rises, it will devour you! Ok maybe that’s a bit overboard but you get the picture. I was blessed with a husband who is an amazing lover. I can’t speak for all married couples but I can speak for me. I never have to worry if my husband will find my spot, never have to fake it, and never have worry if it’s ok to sleep over. I also never have to worry what he will think of me the first time he sees me naked. Even our first time together was so in sync. Being with the same person year after year, adds a new level of sexual chemistry that simply was not there in our beginning years. It’s such a intimacy that fills you up and comes out your pores and you just want to lick it as it drips out of you. Yep, it’s pretty awesome. The very idea of sharing sexual intimacy with someone else is unthinkable. It’s like tearing a piece of flesh and giving it to someone else.

But hey, don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying everyone has to get married, or everyone has to commit to one person. But I like to think of marriage as the last level in super mario bros. You have to work up to it, but if stay with it, and get to the last level, victory is ever so sweet. Sure you can use a game genie to to cheat and beat the final level but it’s just not the same. You didn’t spend the hours playing, you didn’t have to take out your game and blow on it to work at 3am (or maybe you did haha), but it’s not a real victory. If you choose to get married, really give it some serious thought. Do the homework, and let each other know what both of you expect in marriage. It might save you a divorce.

photo credit: flickr user: Ann Douglas

Then mistresses started crawling out of the walls like roaches when the lights go out.

And my initial suspicions seemed a more likely scenario but there are no official confirmations on anything that happened that night. Just pure speculation. The speculation that they got into a fight, he drove off, she chased after him, and he crashed into the tree. But again, none of this is confirmed.

And that’s the problem. Tiger has issued two official statements and nothing more. It seems to me he is hoping that it all dies down with time. That’s a risky gamble. It wouldn’t be so bad if mistresses didn’t keep crawling out of the walls with more torrid details.

He should learn lessons from Hugh Grant and David Letterman. After Grant was caught with a prostitute, he famously kept his appearance on Leno and came clean.

That took balls but he did it and the public’s attention moved elsewhere. I understand Tiger’s desire for privacy while he figures this mess out but he has to understand that he is a very big public figure. He has had this sparkling clean image for years and now there is a big gaping whole in it. When the media does not get answers, it’s starts speculating and probing, and it will get worse before it gets better.

If I were him, I’d sit down with Barbara Walters, Oprah or some other big tv person for an all out hour long interview. Come completely clean.

1) You’ll get credit for being open and honest
2) The media will finally have some answers. It will probably flare them up a little bit more but it may speed them up to move on to other stories.

If he doesn’t do an interview, expect the media to find more of your dirty laundry. I hope for him that there isn’t much left.

The last movie I saw Hugh Grant in was the last Bridget Jones movie. Normally I despise chick flicks but I have my moments.

When men age they can either go the way of Harrison Ford or..the way of Mickey Rooney.

Well based on this picture, Grant is showing the early signs of the latter.

I’m really hoping it’s just jet lag.
Take a look for yourself. Click here