I decided to call this blog, a pop life, because I am obsessed with all things pop culture. I am always looking for new music, new television shows, new movies, and new books.

I looove netflix. Currently I have 459 movies in my netflix queue. Since me and my husband got netflix back in 2006, my queue has never been below 400. I have this fantasy about the day before I die. I’ll be an old woman in my bed, I’ll watch my last netflix movie (this is taking into account that I haven’t added a movie to my queue in the last 60 years)
and as I’m about to perish I’ll utter my final words, “I’ve finished my queue…” As I’m lying there dead, my soul then logs into netflix and they have 200 more recommendation for me. Then my soul will be really mad because ghosts can’t watch DVD’s..or can they..

So yeah, I watch way too many movies.

I also watch way to much TV.

My favorite shows are:
True Blood
Mad Men
How I met your mother
Royal Pains
Burn Notice
Law and Order: SVU (Criminal intent if I’m bored)
South Park
Accidentally on purpose
Community
Parks and Rec(mostly because it’s on between community and the Office)
The Office
30 Rock
Lie to me. (However, I never know when the damn show is on anymore)
The Tudors
In Treatment

Shows I’m DVR-ing:
Beyond belief: fact or fiction I really love the Chiller Channel
Smallville. (I haate its 7pm friday time slot. I’m shocked at its renewal for next year!)

Also, I’m currently reading the Sookie Stackhouse Series. This is my first series I’ve ever read. I usually read serious authors with the exception of David Sedaris. But after spending 10+ years reading such serious material, it’s nice to read something light.

You may be wondering at this point, “How does she ever leave the house and not turn into a robot chicken sketch?”

Thankfully I don’t have TIVO. Does anyone still use TIVO? I work full time but the weekends is where I do the most catching up. A movie here, a movie there, watch some recorded shows a couple times a week. Also, thanks to being employed again, I also watch movies in theaters a couple times a month. However, this month is going to be almost every weekend. I love the summer movie season. While I’m not a huge blockbuster fan, I do have my moments.

So now you may be asking, “Well what kind of movies do you like?” Well imaginary blog reader, I love lots of genres!

I’m not one of those people who can say, “Oh I love comedies, romances, dramas,” because that’s like saying I love the sky, oceans, and trees. Everyone likes those things but try finding a person to name their favorite ocean (mine is the dead sea because of it’s name and location) tree or sky.

I love foreign film. I love foreign film because they are more willing to explore story lines that American Cinema won’t do. But don’t get me wrong. I also love small independent films, mainstream films, some comedies but I hate slapstick. I just don’t find it funny. I love satire. I’m also a generally snarky person also. I love wry comments, dry wit, and some old fashioned word play.

What’s on my netflix agenda today?
An Education

And Broken Embraces

I read online that Mo’nique has an open marriage with her husband. I was actually taken by surprise. I’ve heard about Will Smith and Jada and rumblings about other famous couples that didn’t surprise me. It made me wonder about the benefits and drawbacks of an open marriage.

I myself have been married for 2 years. I married my college sweetheart. Me and my husband have been together for a total of 7 years. On an intellectual level, I can understand the need for an open marriage. When you are married, and or simply shack up, you’re with the same person day in and day out. Romance can take a back seat to talks of bills, dividing up chores, arguing over what to watch on TV, and the daily grind of full time jobs. Not to mention that you are having sex with the same person over and over and over again. No matter how much you change up the sex, the way your partner kisses really doesn’t change over time and people generally always fall back on their basic techniques. An open marriage allows the spouses the freedom to enjoy new partners without the baggage of old grudges, the ability to lather up in escapism from their regular lives, and to feed off new sexual experiences. All this while still having the stability of a long term relationship. All this sounds great on paper. Some people can successfully pull this off if and only if, both spouses truly understand and accept the terms of the open marriage.

However..

Why even get married if you feel the need to explore other avenues? Marriage is hard but the payoff is worth it. When you marry someone, you should be able to bond with someone in a unique way. You decide to be come legally binded to someone. It’s wonderful and life enriching experience. You look into your spouses eyes and you can see your future and your unborn children. Why do you think that the lesbian and gay community fight so hard to have the right to marry? Because, they like most of us, want to have the right to stand before family and friends and commit yourself to one person for life.

Yes, romance can fizzle and sex can become stale. This can happen even in unmarried couples. However, every relationship has it’s ups and downs. The sex will rise again! It’s like a kracken. Sure, it can lay dormant, but when it rises, it will devour you! Ok maybe that’s a bit overboard but you get the picture. I was blessed with a husband who is an amazing lover. I can’t speak for all married couples but I can speak for me. I never have to worry if my husband will find my spot, never have to fake it, and never have worry if it’s ok to sleep over. I also never have to worry what he will think of me the first time he sees me naked. Even our first time together was so in sync. Being with the same person year after year, adds a new level of sexual chemistry that simply was not there in our beginning years. It’s such a intimacy that fills you up and comes out your pores and you just want to lick it as it drips out of you. Yep, it’s pretty awesome. The very idea of sharing sexual intimacy with someone else is unthinkable. It’s like tearing a piece of flesh and giving it to someone else.

But hey, don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying everyone has to get married, or everyone has to commit to one person. But I like to think of marriage as the last level in super mario bros. You have to work up to it, but if stay with it, and get to the last level, victory is ever so sweet. Sure you can use a game genie to to cheat and beat the final level but it’s just not the same. You didn’t spend the hours playing, you didn’t have to take out your game and blow on it to work at 3am (or maybe you did haha), but it’s not a real victory. If you choose to get married, really give it some serious thought. Do the homework, and let each other know what both of you expect in marriage. It might save you a divorce.

photo credit: flickr user: Ann Douglas

I don’t know if it’s just because we are closer to 30 years old, live far apart, experienced different things, or simply decided to end things that should have ended earlier because of long standing grudges.

Am I talking about the ending of a marriage? No, I am talking about the ending of a long term friendship with a formerly close female best friend. I didn’t so much end mine as simply went out for smokes, never came back, and started a new family in the next state. It was long overdue, I won’t go into details but we had drifted apart. I had met new people, wanted to experience new things, but all of those could have been forgiven. The final breaking point was her choice in a husband. I tried but failed at standing by as she self destructed in an awful soul sucking relationship. I tried to offer ways to improve the situation but it was not to be. I just let things naturally die.

The worst thing I hate is when women let their female friendships wither away because of a man. Don’t get me wrong, I am a happily married woman but I still make time for my female friends. Just this past December, I went down to visit one in Galveston, Tx. That is about 5 hrs away from me. Me and my best friend went down to visit the other part of our Holy Trinity. It was an awesome and soul replenishing trip.

But just because you get a man does NOT mean you should be all about him. Time apart is a GOOD thing. I can’t tell you how many relationships I saw in college fall apart because they were attached at the hip. You should have lives apart from each other, don’t loose yourself in the relationship. You’ll regret the day when you open your eyes and realize that you don’t know who you are. Your female friendships should carry you through rough patches of life, throw you bridal showers, baby showers, and share in your menopause. Your husband doesn’t want to share your PMS pain or your bitching about how heavy your period is.

Nothing irritates me more than women who are so willing to throw away friendships for the sake of a man. If the man is TRULY a man, he’d welcome your friendships, tell you to nurture them, and encourage you to spend time with them. Besides, nothing is sweeter than being apart then coming home to him. It’s such a rush. It reinvigorates the relationship.

Women, have you ever gone through a friendship divorce?

Picture from: http://www.flickr.com/photos/ponyinarope/4151918273/

1) I automatically throw away toys in cereal boxes.

This morning I was opening my box of Cherrios and and without even thinking about it, threw away the toy car that was inside. I remember the days when the sight of a toy inside a cereal box was like finding a pirates buried gold. I felt on top of the world, and whatever was ailing me at the time, was temporarily forgotten as I held my new found treasure. I get more excited when I find a coupon on the side of a box. Oh how times have changed.

2) I know what time of the month it is by what bill is due.

As a kid, I really could think no further than a week at a time. I was worried about homework or that big test coming up. Highlights of the week was when I got to be near a crush of mine. Bills were not even in my atmosphere. Money seemed like some unattainable thing that my parents had and I wanted for toys. As I grew older and made more money, bills started finding their way to me like the walking undead. They never swallowed me whole but I always seem to have some sort of bill due every other week. College only made it worse due to my inability to live within my means, even with room mates. I wonder if I’ll ever be able to go back to that sweet bill-less time when a week was just a week.

3) Your friends stop saying, “My parents don’t understand me,” and start saying, “What the hell am I going to do with my life?”

The biggest things me and my friends complained about in high school were boys and parents. We complained that boys are stupid and lame, (haha that’s still a complaint) and that our parents didn’t understand us and/or were too bossy, nosy, annoying, embarrassing. How I miss those days. Now most of us graduated college but are in jobs that have NOTHING to do with our majors. Or we are in jobs that we hate but pays the bills. Growing up, we were led to believe that once we graduated college, we’d land a job where our degree was important, and stay at the job until we retired. I know now that I will never be at one job for thirty or more years. This revelation has pleased me and saddened me all at once. I don’t want to be stuck at one job for my entire working life. I want to experience new things and people. But, I won’t the strong job security as my father did. I can only hope that ten years from now I will have some type of career and that I’m not merely bouncing from one dead end job to another.

4) Babies and Marriages are the new “it” things to have.

I remember the pain and beauty of slap bracelets, jelly shoes (in the 80′s), and junk bracelets. I also remember pocket rockers, BK shoes, CD players, and walkman’s. It was a must in school to have these things and if you didn’t have them then you weren’t cool. These have all become obsolete but as you reach your thirties, two new things are must haves; a husband and children. Correct me if I’m wrong, but men don’t have the same pressure to marry as women, even in 2010. Then there’s the pressure to have children. Women are constantly being reminded of their biological clocks. This cycle will always continue because those of us who were pressured, will inflict the pressure on others when we are older; mostly because we are being pressured to have grandchildren.

5) You are writing a blog post about signs you are a grownup as you grumble to yourself about the loud college kids outside.

I am going to be THAT old lady. I will be the one watching people from my window and griping about balls in my yard. I’d like to think that I’d give them back if they asked nicely. One thing I’ve found myself wondering lately is the moment I felt grown up. I can’t say for sure. It wasn’t when I got married. It felt very surreal to me. I honestly have to say it was when I turned twenty nine. I thought my twenties would last forever and suddenly I felt like I was teetering on the edge of a cliff. I’m too afraid to look down because I don’t know if I will land on a hard ground or a something soft to lighten my fall. I know these past 2 years have been life changing but that’s for another post.