A Pop Life

So a week or two ago, news broke that another celebrity sex tape was leaked. This time it was Kendra Wilkinson from Playboy. Was I shocked? Not in the least.

People really need to stop making sex tapes. I don’t care how hot you think you are, or how much you want to see yourself do it. Don’t do it. It will always get leaked. It may take years, it may take decades, but people you don’t want seeing it, will somehow come across it.

Maybe you got it mixed up with another video, put it in the wrong cover, or it fell underneath something. It’s even more important that in this digital age that you don’t make a sex tape. In the olden days, you could only make a sex tape with a trusty VHS. Those VHS tapes weren’t the toughest things. I know I broke a VHS tape or two by simply dropping it. You could always just pull out the tape or break open that part that bent went you pushed it into the VHS player.

But today? Now you can record video on your phone, digital camera, web cams, etc. It’s so easy to post links on twitter, facebook, etc. One click of a button and bam! Let’s say you saved it as a file on your computer (but for god sakes why??? You really are asking for trouble) and you made sure to name it something vague like “boating trip” or “whoopie cushion.” Then one day you decide to send your mom some video of something cute and innocent. But you accidentally send her THAT file. However you didn’t realize it until after you sent it. Poor mom is going to open it up and watch you playing slap and tickle.

Remember, people are vain creatures. They will keep these tapes forever. Sex tapes are like roaches and Keith Richards, they never die. When the world ends, it will rain sex tapes. Remember, the majority of people who make sex tapes, don’t look like celebrities. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to watch the average Joe Blow (ok so maybe sorta pun intended) engage in a round of how’s your father.

So think about the next time you’re feeling adventurous, don’t think about pressing record on your phone, digital camera, digital recorder or web cam. Yes a relative may at some point accidentally stumble upon it. Your relationship may not last forever, even if you’re married. What if it’s a bad breakup, sometimes people turn into assholes after a breakup. He/she might have the balls to upload it somewhere or forward it to their friends. What may be a cute mole then, can be a point a laughter later with their friends and /or for all the internet to see. Do you really want your private bits to go viral, especially if you have a habit or making strange sounds during sex?

Yes you can delete it but there are ways to retrieve things. It’s very hard to truly delete things in this modern world.

Never, ever make a sex tape. Remember, the camera always add ten pounds.

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This entry was posted on Saturday, May 22nd, 2010 at 5:37 pm. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.